Life in a Year

I know it's been a long time since I've updated this blog. And the updates have been far between as well as few. But the inevitable one year mark is upon us, which is a cause worth posting for.

I remember hitting one hundred days in country. I remember feeling like I'd always been there, like I'd just arrived, like I was about to leave any second. Time is relative when you're living your dream. And the thing about dreams is that they're usually over before you realize that you're in one. Such is not the case here, for I am constantly looking around, aware of how blessed I am to have this opportunity.

Many, many volunteers may not feel that way. They have their moments of success, but those are only pockets of light in what is, for them, a resounding darkness. And many times, I wonder if I'm fooling myself. Am I lying about how happy I feel here? Honestly, at a glance, there's a lot more that would make a person feel depressed than there is to make a person feel happy. Even the Ukrainian people I meet are at a loss as to why I'm here when I could be home. Don't get me wrong, it's not all double rainbows, and sometimes I ask myself the same question. Maybe, for me, it's simply that the answer to that question is still true. Really, truly true, and not just something that I tell myself to keep the monsters at bay.

Here's why - why I came and why I'm still here - because I have been able to prove, for myself and within myself, that the world outside my window is both terrible and wonderful, that it is possible to have peace during the bad stuff and gratitude during the great stuff. That having optimism and hope isn't naive, but brave. That it is a struggle to be happy, a constant struggle, but it's a worthy struggle that I have the ability to choose everyday. That working hard, being kind, and listening to the lessons of everyday trials can shape you and the world around you in the most beautiful way.

I came here to connect with people, to learn and understand the world without judgement and, most importantly, to encourage my students to be exceptional - because they are, whether they know it or not. I work on all of those things every day, and it's never easy. But is it worth it to try?

Always, always, always. And I look forward to trying my way though the upcoming year.

Happy One Year, Ukraine!