Well, that was rough...

Goodness, these past couple weeks were quite up there on the "Feeling-Less-Than-Awesome" scale! After getting my wisdom teeth out and dealing with that pain, I got really quite sick from some sort of flu. And on my birthday weekend, too! Outrage.

I think it was my body telling me to take it easy. There had been a lot of things getting to me... Things with school, things with my future, things with myself. There were some serious thought spirals happening in a bad way. With all my bad-sickness-feelings, I was having trouble looking positively at anything. But like they ("they") say, time heals all. So, I took some time. I got better. I did A LOT of sleeping. It was almost like I recharged.

The worst part about being sick was missing class at Leyden. My supervisors were incredibly understanding and made me feel a ton better about my absences, but I'm still sad I missed. The students did the presentations I helped them with, and I really would have LOVED seeing them present. I'm planning a writing exercise with them... I'm actually too excited about it. The fact that Mrs. B is letting me try my hand at lesson planning is an absolute privilege. I kid you not, she is the best. I'm really lucky to be able to help her in her classes.

All my medical appointments are scheduled! Gotta start sending all that stuff in. They aren't kidding about the medical packet being intimidating, but I'll do me and be as overly-thorough as possible. Next step: exploring a wider range of volunteering opportunities - probably though Chicago Cares - and finding affordable teacher training/seminars to attend.

Everyone, stay well! Take vitamins! And for goodness sake, get some rest.

Happy February!

How Light My Boots Are Right Now

Okay. Okay okay. I've been wanting to update for a while about my last visit with Govinda and the family. I wanted to update about my new volunteering gig at my old high school. I wanted to let everyone know how the TEFL course was going - good, by the way - but I haven't. I don't know if I was waiting for this, but maybe somehow I was.

It's taken longer for me than other applicants. But isn't that just the Peace Corps for ya? Everyone's journey is different.

Anyway, I woke up this morning with a very exciting update in my Peace Corps Toolkit. It's official:

I'VE BEEN NOMINATED FOR SERVICE!!!!

Okay, freaking out. I got my wisdom teeth out a couple days ago - another step in the right PC direction - and it hurts when I smile but gosh darn it, I just can't stop smiling.

I know the pre-journey isn't over yet. There will be a lot more waiting and trials when the medical and dental packets come. But this was a big hurtle for me. I worked hard to prove myself a worthy nominee. And I'm excited for the steps to come.

Not so excited to tell my parents... But that's just another challenge I'll soon face. And in time, I hope they can be happy for me, and supportive, and understanding. Ahhh, but enough of that! This is a happy post filled with happy forth-comings.

I have so many thoughts rushing through my head... So many things that need to get done. But right now, I think I'll simply lay down, ice my jaw, and try not to smile too much. This is my path. And it's winding and wacky and wonderful and I'm so grateful to walk it.

Happy Nomination Day!

P.S. "How Light My Boots Are Right Now" comes from the novel Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close which I am re-reading for the English Honors Society conference panel that we're leading at the end of February. NOLA, here we come!

Little little

Credit

Govinda always says that when we're reading through his homework. "Little little," he says. Little by little, everyday, he improves.

Spending time with Govinda and his family has been such a wonderful experience. They are so kind and hospitable. They've helped show me what it means to be patient with oneself, something I feel is insurmountably valuable. Especially when I consider everything I'm doing in my life.

I've enrolled in a TEFL course, which is going really well so far. Also, I'm officially all set to tutor ESL students at my old high school. Going back regularly will be quite the adjustment, but it's one I'm excited to make. Leyden was my safe-haven for four years, and I'll never have anything but warm and fuzzy feelings about it. It feels like I'm going back home, which is fitting. I'll get to say goodbye to it equally, like I'm saying goodbye to all the things that I love before I leave.

Speaking of leaving, I've been keeping my recruiter updated with all my advancements. I'm hoping the steps I've taken will be enough to get me nominated next time around!

But honestly, any disappointment I felt from not being nominated right away has dissipated completely. Taking the TEFL course and tutoring will not only build my confidence with teaching others, it will create skills I didn't know I needed and prepare me for challenges I didn't know I'd face. It's important to get those things before going off, because getting them first in a foreign country would be even more challenging.

Everything happens for a reason. And I'll get there when I'm meant to. In the mean time, I'll simply keep learning. Little little.

Happy Holidays Everyone!

Building Up

Well, it wasn't the email I was hoping for. My recruiter informed me that I hadn't been nominated just yet. Was that something I was expecting? Not exactly. Should I have expected it? Probably.

While of course I am disappointed that my journey has been momentarily set back, I can't say I'm discouraged. In fact, I'm excited. This is just another facet of the adventure. I was told to continue volunteering, to really do what I could to make myself a more competitive applicant. And I fully intend to do just that. I need to build myself, and make myself the best volunteer I can possibly be while I'm still here in the States before I set sail to become one on a distant land.

So far, I'm looking into tutoring, particularly with those who are non-native speakers. ESL programs and the like. Also, I want to start a course for TEFL. I think that'll be helpful in the long run. I also intend to email my recruiter to see if he knows of any programs that could be particularly useful in making me a better volunteer and applicant.

This is only the beginning. From this point out, my focus will be on becoming the best, most competitive applicant I can possibly be.

Happy Building!

Do It All, and Do It All At Once

That's my new motto. Whether I took it all on willingly, or I suddenly found myself in the middle of all of these wonderful things - and sometimes I wonder which one of those answers is right - that statement has become a sort of mantra for me.

pachecophotography

Being busy is a blessing. Especially when you're busy doing things you love. This semester has been so filled with things that I love. People that I care about. Causes that I can get behind. All of it is leading me to something very important - My own self-worth. Through the challenges I've faced through organizing Phi Upsilon's many events including our trip to the conference, being apart of a dynamic team such as Seeds, and learning to cross cultural lines with the Niraula Family, I've been able to confront of a lot of doubts I had within myself about myself. And I've broken them down.

Sometimes, it's my doubt that if I'm not solving the issue right at the moment, I'm failing. That's not the case. Sometimes, all I can do is what is possible in the moment. Sometimes, I have to wait for an email response or confirmation before I can go forward. Or, I have to wait for it not to be 2:00 in the morning. I've learned patience, and through that patience, the knowledge that I will take care of things as I am able to.

Other times, the doubt manifests itself in other people's belief (or assumed lack-thereof) in me. After making so many new friends at Northeastern, I began to see that these people cared about me. They wanted me to succeed. They set amazing examples that I was eager to follow. I began to reassess how I looked at myself.  Most times, when I believed someone was judging me, it was mostly because I was judging myself.  When I release myself from that self-inflicted judgement, I can see that everyone is on my side. Including myself.

Most times, the doubt stems from this deep-rooted idea that all things will go wrong. Why must that be the case? No way. I choose to believe that all's well that ends well. And how things end is really up to my perspective. If things don't go perfectly, that's alright. If things blow up in smoke, that's alright too. If I fail, I'll fail hugely, with as much heart and spunk as I can muster, being grateful for every lesson learned along the way. And that is a small success in itself, I think.

Happy Living, all!

P.S. As much as I was keeping up with NaNoWriMo before, that's how little I am now. I will catch up... Somehow... I have a feeling it'll involve lots of Orange Soda. And I'm okay with that.

All My Best Teachers Have Been Friends

Sometimes, I just want to write a love letter to each and every one of my friends. The ones I've had for years... The ones I've just made... The ones I no longer have...

I've heard it said that friends are the family you choose. So, fittingly, I chose to have a huge friend circle, much like my huge Greek family. Now, as much as I've tried to remedy this feeling, I've always had the nagging suspicion that I just didn't fit in with my "big fat Greek" family. I was the baby for a long time, and when I grew up, people didn't quite know where to place me any more than I knew where to place myself. I was a self-admitted oddball. And I was cool with that. So, instead of dwelling and feeling like an outsider, I simply focused on my chosen family. My friends. Who always made me feel like I was right where I belonged.


And my friends... Well, as the title states, they are my best teachers. I learn so much from them everyday. My admiration for them is quite endless, and I feel like I truly have the best friends ever. I feel like I got to the market early and picked the best apples before anyone else could snatch them up. But that's how everyone feels about their friends. Because everyone's friends fit them differently. If I asked you, you'd say that your friends were the best people in the whole wide world. And what's wonderful is that - for you and your own personal world - you would be right.

My friends are extraordinary. They hold in them attributes that I long to have for myself. They reveal in me the person that I want to be. And what's more: They support me in becoming that person.

As I continue on this journey through my Peace Corps application, I can't help but think about how much I'm going to miss them when I leave. But I am grateful that, through knowing them, I might carry with me their drive, tenacity, creativity, and kindness. And hopefully, I will convey those traits as I go abroad and extend my friendship to others, so that they might extend their friendship back to me.

Happy Good Feelings, all!

Preparing

I like picking out clothing for the next day before I go to sleep. There's something about it that just makes me feel like I'm oh-so on top of things. It's kind of like writing every thing down in my planner. Makes me feel one step ahead. Which is probably good for me, because I'm pretty slow when it comes to races. Having a head start will probably mean that I'll finish just on time!

Speaking of being on the ball, NaNoing has been going quite well this year! I suppose I have Aaron to thank for that. I wasn't even going to do it until he used his Jedi Mindtrick logic on me. I'm glad he did. It's going well. My character's name is Hester Finn, and she's unlike anything I've ever written before. I think I'm fairly in love with her and the story she's been leading me around. She's very kind. She introduces things slowly, always making sure to hold my hand. Much different than Andy Hayden, who threw me into scenes and demanded I get everything down at once, before it transitioned clumsily with great speed into the next scene.

That there's my NaNo hat.
It keeps all the good ideas from flying out through my hair.

My Bhutanese family adventure has been going well. I'm so grateful do be doing it with Arielle, who continually proves herself to be the sweetest and most enthusiastic partner throughout our visits. Last week, we only got to visit with Hadi, but that was nice. The other times, there had been more focus on Govinda and the other family members. Now, Hadi speaks little-to-no English. So, as to be expected, there was a lot of silence. But when we managed to exchange a few English and Nepalese words, there was also a lot of laughter. And laughter is a language everyone can understand! We showed her pictures of our family, which she really enjoyed. Arielle and I are going to take pictures with the family in the coming weeks so we can give those as presents for the holiday season.

My goal for the coming week is to either get a Nepalese phrase book or to write out some important phrases I want to convey for our next visit. I want to ask Hadi if she needs any help around the house. Can I help prepare a dish of food with her. Would she like to go for a walk. Also, when we left last week, she seemed a bit disappointed, like she wanted us to stay longer. I'm going to call Durga to see if we can come earlier, this way we won't have to rush to beat the traffic.

No PC updates just yet. This here is limbo time, and I know I should get used to it now, because this is nothing. Just wait for medical and dental clearance... For the time being, I'm doing my darnedest to focus on school, NaNoWriMo, and my visits with Govinda and his family. It shan't be so hard, as those are all wonderful things to be focusing on, I think.

Happy Weather, all!