Do It All, and Do It All At Once

That's my new motto. Whether I took it all on willingly, or I suddenly found myself in the middle of all of these wonderful things - and sometimes I wonder which one of those answers is right - that statement has become a sort of mantra for me.

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Being busy is a blessing. Especially when you're busy doing things you love. This semester has been so filled with things that I love. People that I care about. Causes that I can get behind. All of it is leading me to something very important - My own self-worth. Through the challenges I've faced through organizing Phi Upsilon's many events including our trip to the conference, being apart of a dynamic team such as Seeds, and learning to cross cultural lines with the Niraula Family, I've been able to confront of a lot of doubts I had within myself about myself. And I've broken them down.

Sometimes, it's my doubt that if I'm not solving the issue right at the moment, I'm failing. That's not the case. Sometimes, all I can do is what is possible in the moment. Sometimes, I have to wait for an email response or confirmation before I can go forward. Or, I have to wait for it not to be 2:00 in the morning. I've learned patience, and through that patience, the knowledge that I will take care of things as I am able to.

Other times, the doubt manifests itself in other people's belief (or assumed lack-thereof) in me. After making so many new friends at Northeastern, I began to see that these people cared about me. They wanted me to succeed. They set amazing examples that I was eager to follow. I began to reassess how I looked at myself.  Most times, when I believed someone was judging me, it was mostly because I was judging myself.  When I release myself from that self-inflicted judgement, I can see that everyone is on my side. Including myself.

Most times, the doubt stems from this deep-rooted idea that all things will go wrong. Why must that be the case? No way. I choose to believe that all's well that ends well. And how things end is really up to my perspective. If things don't go perfectly, that's alright. If things blow up in smoke, that's alright too. If I fail, I'll fail hugely, with as much heart and spunk as I can muster, being grateful for every lesson learned along the way. And that is a small success in itself, I think.

Happy Living, all!

P.S. As much as I was keeping up with NaNoWriMo before, that's how little I am now. I will catch up... Somehow... I have a feeling it'll involve lots of Orange Soda. And I'm okay with that.