Preparing

I like picking out clothing for the next day before I go to sleep. There's something about it that just makes me feel like I'm oh-so on top of things. It's kind of like writing every thing down in my planner. Makes me feel one step ahead. Which is probably good for me, because I'm pretty slow when it comes to races. Having a head start will probably mean that I'll finish just on time!

Speaking of being on the ball, NaNoing has been going quite well this year! I suppose I have Aaron to thank for that. I wasn't even going to do it until he used his Jedi Mindtrick logic on me. I'm glad he did. It's going well. My character's name is Hester Finn, and she's unlike anything I've ever written before. I think I'm fairly in love with her and the story she's been leading me around. She's very kind. She introduces things slowly, always making sure to hold my hand. Much different than Andy Hayden, who threw me into scenes and demanded I get everything down at once, before it transitioned clumsily with great speed into the next scene.

That there's my NaNo hat.
It keeps all the good ideas from flying out through my hair.

My Bhutanese family adventure has been going well. I'm so grateful do be doing it with Arielle, who continually proves herself to be the sweetest and most enthusiastic partner throughout our visits. Last week, we only got to visit with Hadi, but that was nice. The other times, there had been more focus on Govinda and the other family members. Now, Hadi speaks little-to-no English. So, as to be expected, there was a lot of silence. But when we managed to exchange a few English and Nepalese words, there was also a lot of laughter. And laughter is a language everyone can understand! We showed her pictures of our family, which she really enjoyed. Arielle and I are going to take pictures with the family in the coming weeks so we can give those as presents for the holiday season.

My goal for the coming week is to either get a Nepalese phrase book or to write out some important phrases I want to convey for our next visit. I want to ask Hadi if she needs any help around the house. Can I help prepare a dish of food with her. Would she like to go for a walk. Also, when we left last week, she seemed a bit disappointed, like she wanted us to stay longer. I'm going to call Durga to see if we can come earlier, this way we won't have to rush to beat the traffic.

No PC updates just yet. This here is limbo time, and I know I should get used to it now, because this is nothing. Just wait for medical and dental clearance... For the time being, I'm doing my darnedest to focus on school, NaNoWriMo, and my visits with Govinda and his family. It shan't be so hard, as those are all wonderful things to be focusing on, I think.

Happy Weather, all!

Truthfully...

I grapple with the truth sometimes. I think this is because I try and be honest and kind... And I believe that everyone else, or at least most everyone else, tries to be the same. And their truth... It might be different than my truth. Because it's all about perspective. And then I begin to mess around with... Well, who's truth is true? Is it mine? Yours? Both? Neither?

It's a problem, and it causes me to stop a lot. But then, I remind myself to leave my own mind, and focus on doing what feels natural and right to me in the moment, and not concern myself so much with other people's truths. 

I'm hard on myself. I forget, sometimes, that I have to live in here.

It's been one of those nights filled with lots of heavy-headed thinking. Probably due to the fact that I had an overly full weekend. That's always how it goes for me. But now, after clearing my head, I can get a good night's sleep, and start fresh with a new day!

And... My Peace Corps interview went well. Now, I wait for nomination!

Happy Halloween!

rcrawf

Namaste!

I met my Bhutanese family yesterday, but not before getting seriously lost in the city... So lost that we were nearly an hour late for our meeting. Let me tell you, Mapquest is not my friend.

My partner for this Bhutanese adventure is a very sweet freshman by the name of Arielle. Actually, everyone I met yesterday was really sweet... Which just made me feel all the worse when I got super stressed at the driving messes. But, boy! Were they messes! Lost on the way there. Lost on the way back. The only place I felt "found" was at my family's apartment.

They don't have a lot, but they're quite content. They seemed so happy to have us there working with them. We all spoke together for a little, getting to know one another. At the end, Arielle sat with Govinda, the head of the home. He can read and write in English a bit, so they were working together reading and spelling words from his lessons.

I sat with Hadi, his wife. She cannot read or write in Bhutanese or English, so I spent my time with her pointing to various objects. She would tell me how to say it in Nepali, and I would then tell her the word in English. This became rather challenging, because again, not a lot of items in the room. I've never had to practice English like this before, so I'm thinking picture flashcards might be a good investment for her.

I did teach Govinda how to say "Thank you" and "You're Welcome." I wrote them out after saying it a couple times. Thank you is such a commonplace thing to say... So, being able to teach it made me feel really nice. The ability to express gratitude is a gift and I'm happy to say that Govinda taught me how to say thank you in Nepali, too! Dhanybhad, Govinda!

Speaking of gratitude: I am outrageously grateful for all the exciting developments in my life, this Refugee volunteering included. As my days fill up, so does my heart. I'd like to do it all, but sometimes choices have to be made. Options weighed. And I can do it all... Just not all at the same time!

As I start to fill my time with things I genuinely love to do, my life grows in richness. I can't wait to share my riches with the world that has made such a wonderful existence possible.

So, Namaste and Dhanybhad, world!

Interview, or Taking Inventory of Your Existence

Next week, at around this time, I'll be heading downtown on the train to my very first Peace Corps interview.

Oh, gosh.

I am so excited and nervous. The initial application process was kind of a rush. Lots of information about myself that needed to be gathered. It's interesting how applications make you stop and take inventory of your existence. They ask: what have you done; who are you; who do you want to be. It's both terrifying and healing, in it's own respective ways. But your identity on paper... Well, it's just that. It's the interview where your recruiter will really get a sense of who you are.

There are parts about my existence that worry me in regards to being called to serve. Like the fact that Andrew and I only recently broke up... And the fact that I transferred colleges four times. That's not the type of stuff they like to see. They like to see unattached people, strong in the current of chance. Malleable to any situation.

I like to think I am that person now, but wasn't always. We are constantly fluctuating beings. And while I wasn't always the sound, steady person I am now.... I was always a person who wanted to serve in the Peace Corps. When I realized that I could actually serve, really do so confidently, I worked at making myself the best person I could be for the job. I only hope my recruiter thinks so as well.

In other volunteering news, I start with Exodus World Services tomorrow! I can't wait to meet my Bhutanese family and really get to know them. I'm also excited to meet Arielle, my Refugee partner. I want to make a connection with the family. Really become an ally for them in this difficult time. I want to be there for them in the way that they truly need me, not just in the way that I think I should be there for them.

So, lots of exciting things! Off to make an egg sandwich and read for class.

Have a lovely day all!

Starting Something Big

Can something referred to as "big" still be an understatement? Something being called an understatement suggests that it is small, so am I creating an oxymoron by saying that "big is an understatement"?

Maybe. But either which way, that is not the point.

Here it is:

This blog has officially taken on a different purpose. From now on, it is here I will map out my new journey. From the very beginning to the very end.

I should probably let you know what I'm talking about.

I am applying for the Peace Corps.

I am about one day away from submitting my application. Which is both terrifying and exciting. Mostly exciting. I think?

I wish my parents would get on board. They have concerns, naturally, because they love me and they know this isn't exactly the safest thing to do.

But I think it's the most amazing thing to do. And amazing things - adventurous things - aren't usually safe. I will do my best to stay safe, as I'm sure the Peace Corps people will do their best to keep me safe. I just have a passion for helping people, and trying new things. I really can't think of a better way to do both of those things.

Here, allow me to tell you how I feel through Mumford and Sons:

More once my application is officially submitted. I hope you'll join me on this journey. 

If not, I'm alright to go at it alone. All good journeys seem to begin that way anyway, don't they?

Stealing Rays

Pardon my absence. Boy, can school throw off a perfectly good month! School and work. Pesky little things, aren't they!? Building a solid foundation for my future can be tiresome... Woe to me. But real talk, things have gotten a tad busy. I'm glad I was able to take a moment during work today to take some pictures with Amanda for you all! Completely her idea by the way. She called me about a half hour before work started and told me to get cute, because we'd be taking pictures. Good thing she did, or else I probably wouldn't have even showered....

Shameful lazy confessions all up in this blog today!

Anywho, on to the outfits. First truly warm day in Chicago, and it showed! Everyone was out of the house today, just being outside. Amanda and I decided it was too nice of a day to wear pants. So, dresses it was! Mine was a comfortable little sun dress from Target, her's was a cute vintage getup from Anthropologie.

Dress from Target, Tree from Work

Dress from Anthropologie, Picnic Table from Work

It was windy, but we persevered. Honestly, weather-wise, today was perfect. That tiny taste of summer will last me until it's actually here. I realized that we Midwest people really appreciate good weather when we have it, because we know all too well what it's like when the weather turns ugly.

We took some fun pictures outside. Amanda is really handy with a camera. Eventually, the fun had to end, and we went back into our stuffy, windowless office...

Salutations from Customer Service Land! We are told our customers can hear us smiling through the phone. Can you sense me smiling as I type this?

Good, 'cause I totally was.

Happy weather, everyone!